Here's a good chuckle:
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner. The woman took out her purse, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight. The homeless Woman was astounded!
"Won't your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting"the woman replied,
"That's okay. it's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Mothers
My mom sent this to me and I just love it so I thought I'd share.
"Why God Made Moms"
Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones.. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him..
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3 I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
============================== THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," ..I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
===================== Too cute!
"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?" Church was pretty much over at that point.
"Why God Made Moms"
Answers given by elementary school age children to the following questions:
Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born
How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.
What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones.. Then they mostly use string, I think.
Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.
What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.
What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?
Why did your Mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world.. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him..
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.
Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.
What's the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms work at work & work at home, & dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.
What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.
What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.
If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3 I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her back.
============================== THE MOMMY TEST
I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked. "Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied. At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," ..I was thinking quickly,"All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy." We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information. "OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy." "Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.
===================== Too cute!
"Dear Lord," the preacher began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, "without you we are but dust..." He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, "Mommy, WHAT is butt dust?" Church was pretty much over at that point.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Trip to Texas and more
So I had a great time in Texas. Thanks to both mom's for all their help. I spent most mornings laying in bed trying not to be sick, so they got to watch Kaitlyn. It was such a big help to me though. I had so much fun with all my family. My sister's wedding was beautiful, and she looked gorgeous! I loved having all my extended family there. They were great, they are so much fun. My dad had 5 of his siblings there, and they-mostly the sisters are crazy. I love it! My mom also had lots of siblings and family in. What a great time and occation.
I love my in laws. What can I say they are great. I got to spend a lot of time with my sister in law Mindy. I just love her. She has two boys and the third one will be here shortly. We had such a great time. Katrina, Ryan's sister came up a couple of times, and we even got a chance to go down and visit her new apartment. We had such a great time, she's a hoot, so much fun. Here's a picture of Kaitlyn, Shawn put his hat on her. He's great with her.
In fact it was really cute, on the last Sunday we were there, he took her out during sacrament meeting because she was tired. Well she fell asleep, so he just had to take her to class with him. It was way cute.
Here's a picture of Julia and her husband Cody. Isn't she beautiful.
About here Cody's thinking, oh shoot, what'd I get my self into! Just kidding.
LOL, I just thought that was great. Well, they went to the Bahamas for their honeymoon and had a great time. I got to see lots of pictures of them there. How much fun. Julz also got a new car, a PT cruiser, and just to make sure I was jealous she got a purple one. I love it and am so happy for her.
Well not to much has happened since we got back. Here's an interesting fact though. When your pregnant your brain shrinks 8%, and it doesn't go back to normal til your baby is 6 months old. Crazy huh. Well anyone who's been pregnant can attest to that. Here's a mommy brain story for you. Well on fast Sunday a deacon stopped by our apartment for fast offerings. Ryan was just walking out the door so I said I'd fill it out. No big deal, I have written quite a few checks in my day. Well not this day. So the first check I fill all the way out, then realize I put an old ward on it. No big deal on to check two. So this one yes, I fill out with the right ward. I go to give the deacon the check just as Ryan walks back in the door. Oh by the way Kaitlyn is in her high chair screaming the whole time, for no particular reason, and Ryan says I could hear her all the way down the street. Well then Ryan reminds me, you have to fill out the tithing slip too. Duh. So I fill it out and hand it to the poor boy who's been waiting this whole time thinking what's wrong with this lady, it's just a check. Not that hard. Well after he left I'm recording in the check book the 2 checks, when I realize I wrote the date 3 separate times as August, it's October! Then about 5 min. later I realized, it wasn't even the 13th! I just completely made up the date, wrote three separate times, and was way way off. Oh well, what can you do.
I love my in laws. What can I say they are great. I got to spend a lot of time with my sister in law Mindy. I just love her. She has two boys and the third one will be here shortly. We had such a great time. Katrina, Ryan's sister came up a couple of times, and we even got a chance to go down and visit her new apartment. We had such a great time, she's a hoot, so much fun. Here's a picture of Kaitlyn, Shawn put his hat on her. He's great with her.
In fact it was really cute, on the last Sunday we were there, he took her out during sacrament meeting because she was tired. Well she fell asleep, so he just had to take her to class with him. It was way cute.Here's a picture of Julia and her husband Cody. Isn't she beautiful.
About here Cody's thinking, oh shoot, what'd I get my self into! Just kidding. LOL, I just thought that was great. Well, they went to the Bahamas for their honeymoon and had a great time. I got to see lots of pictures of them there. How much fun. Julz also got a new car, a PT cruiser, and just to make sure I was jealous she got a purple one. I love it and am so happy for her.Well not to much has happened since we got back. Here's an interesting fact though. When your pregnant your brain shrinks 8%, and it doesn't go back to normal til your baby is 6 months old. Crazy huh. Well anyone who's been pregnant can attest to that. Here's a mommy brain story for you. Well on fast Sunday a deacon stopped by our apartment for fast offerings. Ryan was just walking out the door so I said I'd fill it out. No big deal, I have written quite a few checks in my day. Well not this day. So the first check I fill all the way out, then realize I put an old ward on it. No big deal on to check two. So this one yes, I fill out with the right ward. I go to give the deacon the check just as Ryan walks back in the door. Oh by the way Kaitlyn is in her high chair screaming the whole time, for no particular reason, and Ryan says I could hear her all the way down the street. Well then Ryan reminds me, you have to fill out the tithing slip too. Duh. So I fill it out and hand it to the poor boy who's been waiting this whole time thinking what's wrong with this lady, it's just a check. Not that hard. Well after he left I'm recording in the check book the 2 checks, when I realize I wrote the date 3 separate times as August, it's October! Then about 5 min. later I realized, it wasn't even the 13th! I just completely made up the date, wrote three separate times, and was way way off. Oh well, what can you do.
I'm back
Well, it's been forever. It's funny cause I check my sister in laws blog all the time, and I'm almost bummed when there's nothing new (even though she's very good at posting), and then I leave my empty for a long time. Well, quick version, I went to Texas for 3 weeks! I had a ball, went to 3 weddings and receptions, my brothers eagle scout court of honor, a bridal shower, a friends lunch in, 2 of Kurtis's football games, and so much more. It was great but INCREDIBLY exhausting! Plus I was in my first trimester and very nautous. When I got back Ryan's computer was broken so he had mine for a while and I had nothing (sad face). But I kinda got used to it, so I keep forgetting to get on the computer. Oh well.
A long time ago, not a clue when but since my last blog, Ryan, Kaitlyn, and I went with some friends to the Iowa state fair. We had a great time. They have a little boy a month older than Kaitlyn. He is so adorable. He's a picture of them flirting in their strollers.
We got to see a lot of animals like a zebra, camels, and a giraffe. I think Ryan's favorite was a tiger show we watched. It was really cool, unfortunalty we were'nt close enough to get a good shot of them.
One of my friends came over one night and we got our girls Anne (she's a year older than Kaitlyn) and Kaitlyn ready for bed together. They had a great time in the tub. Here's a cute picture of the two.
This is my favorite picture of Kaitlyn, from the same night. Look at those eyes, isn't she just beautiful!
A long time ago, not a clue when but since my last blog, Ryan, Kaitlyn, and I went with some friends to the Iowa state fair. We had a great time. They have a little boy a month older than Kaitlyn. He is so adorable. He's a picture of them flirting in their strollers.
We got to see a lot of animals like a zebra, camels, and a giraffe. I think Ryan's favorite was a tiger show we watched. It was really cool, unfortunalty we were'nt close enough to get a good shot of them.
One of my friends came over one night and we got our girls Anne (she's a year older than Kaitlyn) and Kaitlyn ready for bed together. They had a great time in the tub. Here's a cute picture of the two.
This is my favorite picture of Kaitlyn, from the same night. Look at those eyes, isn't she just beautiful!
Monday, August 14, 2006
I'm Pregnant!
It's official, I'm pregnant with number two! We are very excited. They will be 17 months apart, and the due date is April 15th.
Lot's of crazyness going on. We're still getting unpacked and Kaitlyn is working on her crawling. Today was so cute, Ryan has a really small remote control car that he was playing with Kaitlyn with. He would drive by her and get her to crawl forward, then zoom off and back again. In the end she had crawled a good distance. It was really cute. Kaitlyn really enjoys having Ryan around all day (me too!). This is the first and last week of summer break for us, becuase Ryan has been working all summer.
The other day we were outside our new apartment playinig with Kaitlyn and the sky was perfect blue, we got some really cute pictures!
Lot's of crazyness going on. We're still getting unpacked and Kaitlyn is working on her crawling. Today was so cute, Ryan has a really small remote control car that he was playing with Kaitlyn with. He would drive by her and get her to crawl forward, then zoom off and back again. In the end she had crawled a good distance. It was really cute. Kaitlyn really enjoys having Ryan around all day (me too!). This is the first and last week of summer break for us, becuase Ryan has been working all summer.
The other day we were outside our new apartment playinig with Kaitlyn and the sky was perfect blue, we got some really cute pictures!
Saturday was a very busy and crazy day, but it was a blast. We went to the Iowa Corn Festival and I tryed one of those games where you have a huge mallet/hammer and hit the thing to try to ring the bell at the top. Well we went with 3 other couples and all the girls tried it. It was alot of fun. And the coolest part was I got the highest by far out of all the girls! Who would of thought? It was quite fun. I got an icecream cone and so ofcorse Kaitlyn had to have a bite.
She loved it, why am I not surprized. After that Ryan got this gigantic blue snow cone, so Kaitlyn HAD to share that too. I know we spoil her to much!
We also got to see the Oscar Myer Car, and drive by it, that was pretty cool too. After all this we came home and went swimminig, while we were at the pool we ran into another set of friends. They invited us to eat out with them at 8. We went and had a blast, but poor Kaitlyn was so tired! She was really good though. We didn't get home until about 10:30, so she didn 't sleep very well that night. Poor girl, what mean parents partying all night and not putting her to bed. Good thing she's such a great baby.
Oh here's a picture of the outside of our new apartment.
Well tonight is Monday night, and we just got back from an ice cream social. I had a blast we got to meet a lot more of our neighbors. It was great. Kaitlyn loved it because she got more icecream and lots of attention. Most of the students in our complex have kids, so there were kids running everywhere, it was a blast.
Well I can't wait to come down to Texas! A weekand a half. I'll be there for three weeks and I will go to: 4 wedding receptions, 2 weddings, a bridal shower, and an egale cort of honor! It's going to be crazy and fun. Kaitlyn will LOVE all the extra attention. Can't wait to see everyone. Love ya,
Christi
Tuesday, August 8, 2006
We've moved
Hey everyone! We have moved into our new apartment! We really like it. Our kitchen is still a small apartment size kitchen, but we have a new fridge, dishwashing machine, and stove. It's very nice. We got a three bedroom, so Kaitlyn has a room, and we have a guest/study room. Now there's no excuse not to visit us.
We are in a new ward now too. I'm a little nervous, every week they've had about 5-7 new families move in. In our apartment complex there are about 30 LDS families. That will be nice, I just have to meet everyone and make some new friends.
Kaitlyn is doing well, the first two days were really hard for her. There's been a lot of change, but she's doing well.
If you haven't heard, guess what? Kaitlyn has offically started crawling! She is still perfecting it, but she can crawl. She is all over the place and very proud of herself. Even when she gets to me and I hold her, she's still wiggling all over the place, I think she's just so excited that she can now, so she doesn't want to stop moving. It's very cute. I'm loving it, we're having a great time.
We are in a new ward now too. I'm a little nervous, every week they've had about 5-7 new families move in. In our apartment complex there are about 30 LDS families. That will be nice, I just have to meet everyone and make some new friends.
Kaitlyn is doing well, the first two days were really hard for her. There's been a lot of change, but she's doing well.
If you haven't heard, guess what? Kaitlyn has offically started crawling! She is still perfecting it, but she can crawl. She is all over the place and very proud of herself. Even when she gets to me and I hold her, she's still wiggling all over the place, I think she's just so excited that she can now, so she doesn't want to stop moving. It's very cute. I'm loving it, we're having a great time.
Friday, August 4, 2006
Julia
Posted: Sunday, July 16, 2006
In case you didn't hear, Julia is engaged! Yea! I'm so excited for her. She's getting married September 2 in the Dallas Texas Temple. His name is Cody. The way he proposed was very cute- I approve. Julia and Cody are on a softball team. On thursday night they were playing a game and Julz went up to bat. While she was there Cody called a time out and he came out there and proposed to her. He also had one of her friends take some pictures while it happened. I can't wait to see the pictures and the ring. Julz is very excited.
On a different, but simular note- I'm going to be in Texas from Aug. 24 thru September 14th, for Julia's wedding and Jenny's and Jenna's. Can't wait to see all the beautiful brides.
In case you didn't hear, Julia is engaged! Yea! I'm so excited for her. She's getting married September 2 in the Dallas Texas Temple. His name is Cody. The way he proposed was very cute- I approve. Julia and Cody are on a softball team. On thursday night they were playing a game and Julz went up to bat. While she was there Cody called a time out and he came out there and proposed to her. He also had one of her friends take some pictures while it happened. I can't wait to see the pictures and the ring. Julz is very excited.
On a different, but simular note- I'm going to be in Texas from Aug. 24 thru September 14th, for Julia's wedding and Jenny's and Jenna's. Can't wait to see all the beautiful brides.
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